I was so blessed to have an incredible number of people come and visit me during my stay at Harborview in both the hospital and in Rehab as well as now while I am at home continuing my recovery. I can say without hesitation that this has truly sustained me. The hubby knew it so he was always encouraging people to stop by and see me "she loves it" he would say! Bad hair days, no make-up, drugs, and pain, none of that mattered if I had someone to chat with to help distract me and take me to a different place. Family, friends, co-workers and people I had not seen in years, I was having the social time of my life in an odd sort of way. So why is it that this is when we rally? I cannot really tell you, but I know sometimes we feel like not everyone likes all the attention when they are down and out.
I know for many people there are certain values in place when people are not feeling well, we leave them alone. Of course you don't want to intrude or bother them right? Well, I would challenge you to re-think that and at least make the overture. People can always say, "No thanks, I would prefer no visitors," but if you never ask than they may sit all alone, with bad hospital food, no cable TV and no inclination to want to read. That would have been me for sure. I was so use to being on the go all of the time to then go to spending two weeks most of the time flat on my back I did not know what to do with myself. I usually like to read, but only magazines seemed to catch my attention. TV was of little interest, since I have never been a big TV junkie, so no Soaps for me. Talking on the phone was great, but during the day most people I know are working and the hubby and my mom had already made their phone calls most days to me when I was trying to fill time.
Without my visitors I really would have been in a way worse place and felt totally disconnected from my world. Being home most days now for my continuing recuperation is barely tolerable without my people connections. I am, and always will be, a people person. I am around people all day when I am working and love it. I have an amazing team of women who I work with that keep me motivated to be the best leader I can be. In my job I get to support some incredible supervisors, managers and VP's, so people are what I am all about and to remove that from my world would be intolerable.
So, the next time someone you know is out of commission, in the hospital or just not feeling well reach out, stop by ,and visit or make an oveature so that they know you care. It may just make the difference in their recovery. PS, the flowers, cards, e-mails and phone calls were amazing as well and just added to the joy and love I felt each and everyday - I could feel myself improving with just the positive energy that it gave me. Sometimes is does take a village......
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Tools to Get the Job Done
We use tools everyday and don't even think about what we would do without them. In the horse world without a good hoof pick, a stall fork and the right saddle, bit and bridle a horse person would be ineffective. As a less able bodied person without the right tools you cannot even function. Occupational Therapy helped link this all back together and gave me the tools to ensure that I could function each and every day in my new world.
The main tools I use to help me during the day are - My dressing stick, which I can use to pull up pants, take off socks and to assist me in getting dressed.
I also use an aid to get my socks on. Since I am unable to bend at the waist due to my surgery and the brace I have to rely on either the hubby or my sock aid to get my socks on every day. It is an amazing tool because it looks so odd, yet is so dang effective. You essentially slide the sock over the device and drop it down and slip your foot in and pull the sock up with the long straps. Works like a charm!
Last, but not in any way least is my "Reacher" which really does save my bacon daily. I cannot bend so anything and everything that I drop ,which seems to be many things everyday, I need assistance in retrieving. Well, the hubby was starting to roll his eyes when I would call him and say "it has fallen and it cannot get up!" He will retrieve my cane, but I need to pick up the rest of the stuff and the reacher does the trick. I have two of them, one up stairs and one down stairs and they have been great.
Lesson Number 6 - Always get the right tools for the job, even if you plan to later give them away or sell them when you no longer have a need for them!
The main tools I use to help me during the day are - My dressing stick, which I can use to pull up pants, take off socks and to assist me in getting dressed.
To help me get around I have my cane and a 4 Wheel Walker that I use. My cane is the mainstay getting me around the house and when I go out in the world I take my walker. A little shout out to the Hubby who got me a very cool cane that has multi-colored butterflies on it. It is very colorful, and matches many outfits (that is what he thought when he got it for me). I have received many compliments on it since it is so happy and colorful and much better than a generic gray one. My Walker is deluxe and it is a little more hip than the one I used in the hospital at first which I an thankful for. If I had to learn to use a walker 30 years before I expected to at least make it cool and hip. So, when they ordered me the 4 Wheel variety and it was "Red" I was a happy lady. You know it is really the small things when a walker makes you happy :).
Friday, February 25, 2011
Horses: In riding a horse, we borrow freedom....
Since this started with a horse experience it seems fitting that I had better explain why in the world after all of this I still want to ride and how and where it all started. I guess it is in your blood or DNA? Not sure, but it is in mine.
As a child I dreamed of having a horse one day. It usually starts small, a pony and then we build. I was a city girl with little opportunity or access to being able to have a horse of my own. But, you can always dream and pray and more nights than not I asked God, "Please bring me a Pony." What in the world would my parents have done if they found a Pony grazing away in our back yard? I could only hope.
My access to horses was intermittent, but memorable growing up. My cousin, "P" had first one horse and then two when her Quarter Horse Mare had a foal. I was so excited to see the baby, he was a bonus as they did not know the mare was pregnant when they got her. When ever we would go to visit I got to ride. At first I would ride double behind my cousin and then as I got older she would let me ride on my own. It seemed like I had to wait forever for the other kids - my siblings, to get their rides done and then it was my turn.
That Mare was what we would call a "Packer" she was patient, kind, and put up with my lack of riding skills. I would walk and trot her all over their field and some times we would even lope. She was a little barn sour so I knew I should keep her away from the barn or she would run into her stall and I had better duck or off I would go. You get to anticipate these things with horses and I never did fall off of her. Riding that horse set in place my continued desire to have a horse of my own. I was 9 or 10 years old.
Fast forward 20 plus years. I finally find myself in a situation where I can begin to make the horse dream happen. I save up enough money to buy the horse, tack, and a trailer. For years I have been attending horse shows, reading and dreaming about this day when I get my first horse. I am 32 and finally I get to make it happen. I start looking and know that I want to start with a great trail horse. I have ridden my neighbors horse on the trail and he is part Appaloosa and I think that makes sense for a first horse. I try out a few horses and only one stands out, but he is not an Appaloosa, he is an Arab.
I know enough about horses as this point that I am really not sure I want an Arab, they are typically more "hot" than not and I am such a novice that I don't want to get off to a bad start. I decide to meet him after talking to his owner. She assures me that "Wizard" has been there and done that. She tells me how she rode him across county in an organized trail ride to reenact the wagon train coming west, how he literally jumped a fire line when she was out trail riding and got stuck where she should not have been, and that he is calm and has been around the block. So, I go give him a try.
My first impression is - OMG, he is White! I later find out that in the Arab color world his color is really considered "Gray." What ever his color is called it looks white to me and I know that I never envisioned owning a white horse. I saw myself on something more brown - a bay (dark brown) or Sorrel (red/brown), but a white horse?? I take him for a test ride in their rock littered arena. He is a good boy and walks, trots and lopes for me. His trot is like a jack hammer, and I bounce around in the saddle which is way too big for me. The owner tells me I should post his trot. What the heck does that mean? Boy, I was a green rider.
I take him out in the neighborhood around their house with her daughter riding with me on her horse. Cars, kids on electric trucks, sprinklers, none of it bothers him. He just takes it all in stride.... The daughters horse is much more jumpy and ill at ease. I head back to their house and know
As a child I dreamed of having a horse one day. It usually starts small, a pony and then we build. I was a city girl with little opportunity or access to being able to have a horse of my own. But, you can always dream and pray and more nights than not I asked God, "Please bring me a Pony." What in the world would my parents have done if they found a Pony grazing away in our back yard? I could only hope.
My access to horses was intermittent, but memorable growing up. My cousin, "P" had first one horse and then two when her Quarter Horse Mare had a foal. I was so excited to see the baby, he was a bonus as they did not know the mare was pregnant when they got her. When ever we would go to visit I got to ride. At first I would ride double behind my cousin and then as I got older she would let me ride on my own. It seemed like I had to wait forever for the other kids - my siblings, to get their rides done and then it was my turn.
That Mare was what we would call a "Packer" she was patient, kind, and put up with my lack of riding skills. I would walk and trot her all over their field and some times we would even lope. She was a little barn sour so I knew I should keep her away from the barn or she would run into her stall and I had better duck or off I would go. You get to anticipate these things with horses and I never did fall off of her. Riding that horse set in place my continued desire to have a horse of my own. I was 9 or 10 years old.
Fast forward 20 plus years. I finally find myself in a situation where I can begin to make the horse dream happen. I save up enough money to buy the horse, tack, and a trailer. For years I have been attending horse shows, reading and dreaming about this day when I get my first horse. I am 32 and finally I get to make it happen. I start looking and know that I want to start with a great trail horse. I have ridden my neighbors horse on the trail and he is part Appaloosa and I think that makes sense for a first horse. I try out a few horses and only one stands out, but he is not an Appaloosa, he is an Arab.
I know enough about horses as this point that I am really not sure I want an Arab, they are typically more "hot" than not and I am such a novice that I don't want to get off to a bad start. I decide to meet him after talking to his owner. She assures me that "Wizard" has been there and done that. She tells me how she rode him across county in an organized trail ride to reenact the wagon train coming west, how he literally jumped a fire line when she was out trail riding and got stuck where she should not have been, and that he is calm and has been around the block. So, I go give him a try.
My first impression is - OMG, he is White! I later find out that in the Arab color world his color is really considered "Gray." What ever his color is called it looks white to me and I know that I never envisioned owning a white horse. I saw myself on something more brown - a bay (dark brown) or Sorrel (red/brown), but a white horse?? I take him for a test ride in their rock littered arena. He is a good boy and walks, trots and lopes for me. His trot is like a jack hammer, and I bounce around in the saddle which is way too big for me. The owner tells me I should post his trot. What the heck does that mean? Boy, I was a green rider.
I take him out in the neighborhood around their house with her daughter riding with me on her horse. Cars, kids on electric trucks, sprinklers, none of it bothers him. He just takes it all in stride.... The daughters horse is much more jumpy and ill at ease. I head back to their house and know
I have found my "Dream Horse." And so the journey begins....(To be continued)
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Thursday, February 24, 2011
Rehab - Now the Real Work Starts
I wanted to do in patient rehab from the start becasue I knew it would get me the kick start needed. I wanted to stay at Harborview to do it as they have one of the best Rehab programs around. I have never been afraid of doing the hard work to accomplish something that you really want so doing in patient rehab just made total sense. My Mom is a former Rehab nurse so I knew how it worked from hearing about her job over the years when I was growing up. People are in rehab for a variety of health issues - stroke, heart attack, head injury, spinal cord injury, etc...
Day 6 following my injury I started my in patient rehab - I had Physical Therapy twice per day, Occupational Therapy twice and then Recreational Therapy once every couple of days - 5 days per week and Sundays were a day off. Each theraphy has a different focus.
Physical Therapy would work on me - getting me walking, climbing stairs (since my house has quite few), strengthening my muscles, they are just like loose rubber bands after the injury. They would create an exercise regime to address my issues that I would do in the hospital and later at home. Occupational Therapy is focused on helping learn how to do day to day things in your life - showering, dressing, cooking (told them I was spoiled cause the hubby does this), they would help me navigate what had been easy with new tools and new ways of getting things done. Recreational Therapy focuses on helping you navigate in the community - how do you go out and run errands, navigate side walks, streets, etc.. with a walker or cane.
Game on - I got two Physical Therapists day one, an Intern, "R"and a seasoned Therapist "J" who was evaluating "R". They were both great and took great pains to evaluate me and establish goals for my therapy. My right foot had been bothering me since the accident. We were not sure if it was a sprain that I got when I fell or as result of the SCI. It seemed like a sprain, but since my toes on the foot were not working correctly It was hard to determine and likely part of the overall injury to my spine. They thought I may need a brace to give the foot some stability and spent time evaluating that need. Ultimately it was determined I would not need one.
We would focus first on walking with a walker and then stairs all while incorporating exercises to build strength, balance and flexibility. Walking was different now than before. I had to tell my body what to do where as before it was automatic. With a SCI the path ways that work from the brain to your body are damaged and to rebuild them you must tell them what to do by focusing on asking for simple things like tighten your quads and glutes, lift your legs to climb stairs, bend your knees, etc...
These videos were taken day two in Rehab and show me walking with the walker and then assisted without the walker. Just know that was nearly three weeks ago, so I have made great progress since then, but I felt it was important to see where I started. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uDehpdtp-Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEWRoIDToz0
Note, the special "Black Orthopedic Looking Shoes" I am wearing. Special thanks to the Hubby for finding those style makers for me. He spent hours at the mall trying to find them and then ended up at "Payless Shoes" for those special shoes. Since my feet were very swollen and tender I was afraid my regular tennis shoes would not work. Not to worry, hubby to the rescue. Well, needless to say, those darn shoes, with no arch support and brick like insoles, hurt more than going bare foot in socks, which is what I did day one. Those did not last another day and I left them at the hospital, they would not be part of my "shoe collection."
Lesson Number 5 - Never let the hubby or boyfriend buy you shoes! Leave that to sisters, mothers or girlfriends and thanks to mine I ended up with some acceptable comfortable options. Good effort hubby.
Day 6 following my injury I started my in patient rehab - I had Physical Therapy twice per day, Occupational Therapy twice and then Recreational Therapy once every couple of days - 5 days per week and Sundays were a day off. Each theraphy has a different focus.
Physical Therapy would work on me - getting me walking, climbing stairs (since my house has quite few), strengthening my muscles, they are just like loose rubber bands after the injury. They would create an exercise regime to address my issues that I would do in the hospital and later at home. Occupational Therapy is focused on helping learn how to do day to day things in your life - showering, dressing, cooking (told them I was spoiled cause the hubby does this), they would help me navigate what had been easy with new tools and new ways of getting things done. Recreational Therapy focuses on helping you navigate in the community - how do you go out and run errands, navigate side walks, streets, etc.. with a walker or cane.
Game on - I got two Physical Therapists day one, an Intern, "R"and a seasoned Therapist "J" who was evaluating "R". They were both great and took great pains to evaluate me and establish goals for my therapy. My right foot had been bothering me since the accident. We were not sure if it was a sprain that I got when I fell or as result of the SCI. It seemed like a sprain, but since my toes on the foot were not working correctly It was hard to determine and likely part of the overall injury to my spine. They thought I may need a brace to give the foot some stability and spent time evaluating that need. Ultimately it was determined I would not need one.
We would focus first on walking with a walker and then stairs all while incorporating exercises to build strength, balance and flexibility. Walking was different now than before. I had to tell my body what to do where as before it was automatic. With a SCI the path ways that work from the brain to your body are damaged and to rebuild them you must tell them what to do by focusing on asking for simple things like tighten your quads and glutes, lift your legs to climb stairs, bend your knees, etc...
These videos were taken day two in Rehab and show me walking with the walker and then assisted without the walker. Just know that was nearly three weeks ago, so I have made great progress since then, but I felt it was important to see where I started. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uDehpdtp-Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEWRoIDToz0
Note, the special "Black Orthopedic Looking Shoes" I am wearing. Special thanks to the Hubby for finding those style makers for me. He spent hours at the mall trying to find them and then ended up at "Payless Shoes" for those special shoes. Since my feet were very swollen and tender I was afraid my regular tennis shoes would not work. Not to worry, hubby to the rescue. Well, needless to say, those darn shoes, with no arch support and brick like insoles, hurt more than going bare foot in socks, which is what I did day one. Those did not last another day and I left them at the hospital, they would not be part of my "shoe collection."
Lesson Number 5 - Never let the hubby or boyfriend buy you shoes! Leave that to sisters, mothers or girlfriends and thanks to mine I ended up with some acceptable comfortable options. Good effort hubby.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Rehabilitation - Rewind, Relearn, Redo
It was no time after talking to the Ortho Docs about Rehab that a Rehab Doc was in to evaluate me. The correct term for a doctor specializing in rehabilitation medicine is "Physiatrist ." Well, of course the one who came to evaluate me looked just like Hillary Swank. I kid you not, she was her younger version for sure. Very nice as she took a pin and lightly poked me with it up and down my legs and feet to determine my sensation levels. Yup, a regular safety pin. By this time I had been so poked and prodded what did I care? I just wanted to get on to my next steps in my recovery so if this is what needed to happen go for it.
I was moved to the Rehab floor on day 5 of my stay in Harborview. When they have a bed for you on another unit these folks are serious about getting you moved. They breeze in and say, "were moving you to Rehab" and I am saying ,"OK, great, my hubby will be here shortly to help," but they come in with a bed, a cart and they are moving me and all the stuff I have accumulated - flowers, books, general stuff. I wondered if the hubby would find me in the maze of Harborview? Off we go to Rehab.
My room on the Rehab floor is "Small "and it is a shared room. Geez there is barely room for all of my stuff! The hubby shows up and he does not like it I can tell. With a bedside table, a walker, a wheel chair and a chair for visitors it is not the best use of space. I am just happy to be there so I tell him to chill.
I meet my roommate "V" who had a stroke and has been there for over a month. She is nice and gives me some tips on what to expect. I won't officially start rehab until the next day, but I am excited to be there even if I feel like I have gone from staying at a Westin in a suite to a Days Inn. There are certainly different levels of accommodations as you move through the various levels in health care ICU to Medical to Rehab.
The Rehab Docs show up again and I meet my "Resident" Doctor - Doc "M"and the Head of the Unit- Doc "C" Both, young and very nice. The Resident - Doc M is making his rounds through the various units so he is doing his stint in Rehab now. He gets to do the Pin test again and he pokes me all over from the waist down. Ugh, do we really have to do this, but I guess so. The day is filled with tons of people coming in and out of my room explaining the process. There is a schedule posted on a white board that tells me what I need to be doing and when. I literally have a team assigned - Physical Therapists, Occupational Therapists, Therapeutic Recreation, Psychiatrist, Social Worker, and Nurses to make sure I get the full meal deal.
I am still having tons of pain mostly in my feet.- it is nerve pain which is incredibly painful and the pain meds barely take the edge off. I was fitted with a brace while on medical floor that I have to wear it any time I am out of bed - sitting, standing or walking where I am at 90 degrees. So, I pretty much have to wear it all the time other than when I am sleeping. It is called a Jewett Brace and it will keep my spine and torso supported and keep me from flexing forward and twisting - all not good for my healing back. I cannot bend forward at the waist so I cannot pick anything up, I can't put on my own socks or shoes. I really feel trapped without the brace. The worse part is at night when they take the brace off and I have to use the rest room. I am like a turtle stuck on my back and at the mercy of the nursing staff. The first few nights they didn't put it on to get me up and instead out came the bed pans. I hated those things and was determined to get cleared so I could get up on my own. Goals are an incredible thing to motivate you - Lesson Number 4 always have Goals- Write Them Down, Look at Them Often and Commit to making them Happen.
I was moved to the Rehab floor on day 5 of my stay in Harborview. When they have a bed for you on another unit these folks are serious about getting you moved. They breeze in and say, "were moving you to Rehab" and I am saying ,"OK, great, my hubby will be here shortly to help," but they come in with a bed, a cart and they are moving me and all the stuff I have accumulated - flowers, books, general stuff. I wondered if the hubby would find me in the maze of Harborview? Off we go to Rehab.
My room on the Rehab floor is "Small "and it is a shared room. Geez there is barely room for all of my stuff! The hubby shows up and he does not like it I can tell. With a bedside table, a walker, a wheel chair and a chair for visitors it is not the best use of space. I am just happy to be there so I tell him to chill.
I meet my roommate "V" who had a stroke and has been there for over a month. She is nice and gives me some tips on what to expect. I won't officially start rehab until the next day, but I am excited to be there even if I feel like I have gone from staying at a Westin in a suite to a Days Inn. There are certainly different levels of accommodations as you move through the various levels in health care ICU to Medical to Rehab.
The Rehab Docs show up again and I meet my "Resident" Doctor - Doc "M"and the Head of the Unit- Doc "C" Both, young and very nice. The Resident - Doc M is making his rounds through the various units so he is doing his stint in Rehab now. He gets to do the Pin test again and he pokes me all over from the waist down. Ugh, do we really have to do this, but I guess so. The day is filled with tons of people coming in and out of my room explaining the process. There is a schedule posted on a white board that tells me what I need to be doing and when. I literally have a team assigned - Physical Therapists, Occupational Therapists, Therapeutic Recreation, Psychiatrist, Social Worker, and Nurses to make sure I get the full meal deal.
I am still having tons of pain mostly in my feet.- it is nerve pain which is incredibly painful and the pain meds barely take the edge off. I was fitted with a brace while on medical floor that I have to wear it any time I am out of bed - sitting, standing or walking where I am at 90 degrees. So, I pretty much have to wear it all the time other than when I am sleeping. It is called a Jewett Brace and it will keep my spine and torso supported and keep me from flexing forward and twisting - all not good for my healing back. I cannot bend forward at the waist so I cannot pick anything up, I can't put on my own socks or shoes. I really feel trapped without the brace. The worse part is at night when they take the brace off and I have to use the rest room. I am like a turtle stuck on my back and at the mercy of the nursing staff. The first few nights they didn't put it on to get me up and instead out came the bed pans. I hated those things and was determined to get cleared so I could get up on my own. Goals are an incredible thing to motivate you - Lesson Number 4 always have Goals- Write Them Down, Look at Them Often and Commit to making them Happen.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Harborview - Continued
Being in the hospital for an extended period of time is really no fun as you can imagine. Some of the lighter moments are the only things that really get you through it each day. The hubby loved to pick out my food from the menu they left us each day. As soon as breakfast arrived and the menu was there he would grab the little wood pencil they left and start making "my selections" for the next days meals. Of course, he asked for my input most of the time, but really he picked what "he thought I should have." So, each and every day seemed like a mystery meal for me. Fun?? Well, it was interesting. I had little appetite so I did not really care.
It was when they moved me to the medical floor that they started to get real about next next steps. They want you up and moving - no lying around. No catheter cause you get to use a "bed side commode" which is such a fun thing. When they got me up the first time I realized "girlfriend you are pretty messed up" as I tottled like a little baby , unbalanced, uncoordinated and able to take a few steps with my new "walker." OMG, I am going to have to relearn "A lot!" I may be able to walk, but not like I use to. Here I was getting to learn to use a walker "30 Years" before I had planned on using one.
For those who know me I am a "Go, Go, Person" I don't sit still much and I was always going and doing something. This new reality hit me like a ton of bricks. I could not even walk the same as I use to. With a SCI (remember my new acronym) my injury was classified as a L2 Asia D which is how they rate and classify injuries. I have what is call an Incomplete SCI which means my spinal cord was damaged, but not severed. What it means in reality to me is that from about my hips down is where I would see the impact of the injury. Yup, they were right.
I have numbness across my lower back, and the sensation if you touch my legs from my thighs down is off, it is just not as sharp as it use to be. I had extreme nerve pain in my feet - imagine when your foot goes to sleep with the tingling and pins and needles and then add pain that feels like fire. My feet were also very swollen so walking on them felt like I was walking on two big fat potatoes on the bottoms of each foot. It was so disconcerting. My right ankle was swollen and it made my right foot tip to the left and it just was not working right. We think not only did I sprain it, but with the SCI I have less movement and range of motion as well as strength in my right leg.
Once the doctors know your diagnosis they are ready to move you forward and have you get better. Rounds start early so if I was going to ask any questions of the doctors about next steps I better be up and with it. Hence I wanted to get off the crazy pain meds as soon as possible so I could think and ask question. On day 3 I was waiting for my ortho docs. I had seen them briefly at one point when I was in ICU, another "Grey's moment," when three of them came in all decked out in their "North Face" athletic jackets, no scrubs for them, and looking every bit of "doctor McDreamy's" - young, athletic and "Wow!" Gotta treasure those moments since hospital life was not exactly thrilling.
So when they came in on rounds next time I was ready, not on the drug pump, just taking the pills and I was going to get all my questions out. Two of them breezed in, different "Ortho Docs," but I am ready. They want to measure my strength in each leg and they do all these pushing, pulling, and resistance tests on each leg. They seem happy with my "over all " leg strength. I tell them about the foot pain and they ask me about rehab. I tell them I want to do "In Patient" cause I know that it will get me off to the best possible start on my rehabilitation. They both like that idea and will be sending down the Rehab Docs to evaluate me. I guess it is not a given. One of them asks about abut the accident, and it turns out he is a polo player. He tells me that he expects I will ride again if I want to based on what he is seeing. Since the hubby is still at "No More Horse Back riding" I figure I won't push it, but hey the Doctor is optimistic. He leaves by saying "of course you were wearing a helmet/" I just smile that little smile that says, "Yeah, right."
So here I am day 3 after a SCI and I still want to ride? It is in your blood when you are a true horse person. You can't stop the feelings that it gives you and the desire to want to ride is such a strong pull that even an injury so extreme as mine cannot keep me from wanting to be back in the saddle.......... Rehab here I come.
It was when they moved me to the medical floor that they started to get real about next next steps. They want you up and moving - no lying around. No catheter cause you get to use a "bed side commode" which is such a fun thing. When they got me up the first time I realized "girlfriend you are pretty messed up" as I tottled like a little baby , unbalanced, uncoordinated and able to take a few steps with my new "walker." OMG, I am going to have to relearn "A lot!" I may be able to walk, but not like I use to. Here I was getting to learn to use a walker "30 Years" before I had planned on using one.
For those who know me I am a "Go, Go, Person" I don't sit still much and I was always going and doing something. This new reality hit me like a ton of bricks. I could not even walk the same as I use to. With a SCI (remember my new acronym) my injury was classified as a L2 Asia D which is how they rate and classify injuries. I have what is call an Incomplete SCI which means my spinal cord was damaged, but not severed. What it means in reality to me is that from about my hips down is where I would see the impact of the injury. Yup, they were right.
I have numbness across my lower back, and the sensation if you touch my legs from my thighs down is off, it is just not as sharp as it use to be. I had extreme nerve pain in my feet - imagine when your foot goes to sleep with the tingling and pins and needles and then add pain that feels like fire. My feet were also very swollen so walking on them felt like I was walking on two big fat potatoes on the bottoms of each foot. It was so disconcerting. My right ankle was swollen and it made my right foot tip to the left and it just was not working right. We think not only did I sprain it, but with the SCI I have less movement and range of motion as well as strength in my right leg.
Once the doctors know your diagnosis they are ready to move you forward and have you get better. Rounds start early so if I was going to ask any questions of the doctors about next steps I better be up and with it. Hence I wanted to get off the crazy pain meds as soon as possible so I could think and ask question. On day 3 I was waiting for my ortho docs. I had seen them briefly at one point when I was in ICU, another "Grey's moment," when three of them came in all decked out in their "North Face" athletic jackets, no scrubs for them, and looking every bit of "doctor McDreamy's" - young, athletic and "Wow!" Gotta treasure those moments since hospital life was not exactly thrilling.
So when they came in on rounds next time I was ready, not on the drug pump, just taking the pills and I was going to get all my questions out. Two of them breezed in, different "Ortho Docs," but I am ready. They want to measure my strength in each leg and they do all these pushing, pulling, and resistance tests on each leg. They seem happy with my "over all " leg strength. I tell them about the foot pain and they ask me about rehab. I tell them I want to do "In Patient" cause I know that it will get me off to the best possible start on my rehabilitation. They both like that idea and will be sending down the Rehab Docs to evaluate me. I guess it is not a given. One of them asks about abut the accident, and it turns out he is a polo player. He tells me that he expects I will ride again if I want to based on what he is seeing. Since the hubby is still at "No More Horse Back riding" I figure I won't push it, but hey the Doctor is optimistic. He leaves by saying "of course you were wearing a helmet/" I just smile that little smile that says, "Yeah, right."
So here I am day 3 after a SCI and I still want to ride? It is in your blood when you are a true horse person. You can't stop the feelings that it gives you and the desire to want to ride is such a strong pull that even an injury so extreme as mine cannot keep me from wanting to be back in the saddle.......... Rehab here I come.
Monday, February 21, 2011
SCI - The Latest Acronym I Get To Learn
OK, so I have a SCI, a Spinal Cord Injury. Yup, might as well say it. Yes, the wonderful doctors at Haborview were able to put me back together, but I was and will remain broken. You may fix the issue, but the injury remains. My spinal column was reduced by 50% at T12 and I had a nick on my spinal cord caused by a bone fragment. All of these have been fixed, but the results are what I am experiencing.
Might as well say it since that is why this post is happening at 1:30 am when I cannot sleep due to the pain. In the hospital it was OK, but at night it is terrible, nights are the worst. I have tried every bed in the house, sitting, standing, walking, just have to keep moving to not notice it. I hope and pray it gets better, but right now it is not good. Yes, I will be real here since that is the only way I know how to be.
My body does not work the same as it did. My right side is now my weaker side. My left is so much stronger. The big toe and the one next to it on my right foot don't move. They are kind of like foreign objects on my body. I keep trying, but they just won't bend. I cannot raise my right root up on my toes on one foot. I can do with both feet, but not on the right. I think I sprained my right ankle when I fell. It keeps swelling up. It did not seem right in the hospital so they x-rayed it and it was not broken.
I have to tell my body what to do now with a SCI, nothing is automatic. Lift your leg to climb the stairs. tighten your muscles in your legs and glutes to walk. Don't swing your hips because that will move your back which we don't want to do right now. The good news is with work things can and do get better. How much remains to be seen.
I work out and do my exercises everyday. I will start PT again next week. Yes, it is hard and yes it is not what I envisioned that I would do, but remember I am tough and I keep at it every day. The pain is hard.
Lesson number 3 - Live Each Day as Though It Were Your Last (I will live by this going forward forever since my last day as the former me was 1/29/11), Good Night!
Might as well say it since that is why this post is happening at 1:30 am when I cannot sleep due to the pain. In the hospital it was OK, but at night it is terrible, nights are the worst. I have tried every bed in the house, sitting, standing, walking, just have to keep moving to not notice it. I hope and pray it gets better, but right now it is not good. Yes, I will be real here since that is the only way I know how to be.
My body does not work the same as it did. My right side is now my weaker side. My left is so much stronger. The big toe and the one next to it on my right foot don't move. They are kind of like foreign objects on my body. I keep trying, but they just won't bend. I cannot raise my right root up on my toes on one foot. I can do with both feet, but not on the right. I think I sprained my right ankle when I fell. It keeps swelling up. It did not seem right in the hospital so they x-rayed it and it was not broken.
I have to tell my body what to do now with a SCI, nothing is automatic. Lift your leg to climb the stairs. tighten your muscles in your legs and glutes to walk. Don't swing your hips because that will move your back which we don't want to do right now. The good news is with work things can and do get better. How much remains to be seen.
I work out and do my exercises everyday. I will start PT again next week. Yes, it is hard and yes it is not what I envisioned that I would do, but remember I am tough and I keep at it every day. The pain is hard.
Lesson number 3 - Live Each Day as Though It Were Your Last (I will live by this going forward forever since my last day as the former me was 1/29/11), Good Night!
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