Recently I have needed to take a break from the horse aspect of my life for a variety of reasons, need I say more. It has been hard now that my recovery progress has slowed to a halt and I continue to have various issues that I have to work through I have not wanted to think much about the horse hobby and at times wonder will I ever think of it the same?
Horses are big, animals who at times are not predictable. Yup, I said it, but that being said there are many who are the antithesis of that very statement. I have known them and do still know those that are as gentle as puppy dogs and would not hurt a fly. There are non-horse friends who have said that a horse that hurts someone should be put on a registry some place so that what happened to you does not happen to anyone else. I have tired to help them understand the very nature of the horse industry is such that it does not support that. This, they find incredible, and then I step back and have to say maybe they are right.
In an industry so small why is it that we are not better prepared to take care of each other and not allow bad things to happen to each other? Why don't we have a way to make sure that others don't get hurt by those horses that are truly dangerous and unpredictable? Is it because we impart upon these animals characteristics that are more human than animal? Do we put emotion into owning them that unrealistically supports something that should never be allowed in the first place? Is it the money? Yes, this is part of it as there is (was) a great deal of money tied up in the horse industry. Of course who wants to put a horse down or out to pasture when they have allocated years of training and resources to them? All very valid questions I am sure.
As I live each week day by day I think about who I was and who I will never be again and wonder if with some care and compassion towards mankind I would be in a different place and able to live my life free of pain, active, and as I had been before January 29th, 2011? I will never know the answer to that, but I can only move forward with my journey and help others with theirs.