Sunday, May 15, 2011

Now I have More Time

Not doing the horse hobby had afforded me a couple of things - more time and money.  Yes, I notice my check book is much nicer every month and most weekends I have plenty of time to do what ever.  Not sure the hubby appreciates me in his space, but he is being a good sport and I try not to ask for the remote when he is watching his favorite weekend shows.  Sunday morning is especially sacred, not because he is heading to church mind you, but because of the political, wonky shows he loves watching - Meet the Press anyone?

I miss my hobby and yet I have felt so not up to it that I have not even been able to make it to the local shows to watch.  Being off the pain meds you notice ever twinge and the foot swells and hurts every time I walk on it too much.  By the end of the week I need at least one day to recover.  I use to go none stop and now I just feel beat.

Next Sunday we are heading to Arizona to look at houses.  Yup, we are going to buy a retirement home with the prices being so dang great there we just can't pass it up.  With all the rain here I think retirement is going to come sooner verses later.  I love the desert, and its stark., but unique beauty.  I want a yard that is low maintenance and cactus seem so stately and there are so many different kinds.  People ask me, but won't you miss the green of Washington?  No!  I really won't, I will happily trade the over 170 days of rain so far for blue sky's and sun, even if it is 110.  No, problem cause I will go swim in my pool. 

Having this diversion right now is good because as I wait out the recovery process with all of the twists and turns it takes having something else to focus on has kept me sane.  Besides you can ride horses year around in Arizona, right :).

Friday, May 6, 2011

Horses Continued.....

Recently I  have needed to take a break from the horse aspect of my life for a variety of reasons, need I say more.  It has been hard now that my recovery progress has slowed to a halt and I continue to have various issues that I have to work through  I have not wanted to think much about the horse hobby and at times wonder will I ever think of it the same?

Horses are big, animals who at times are not predictable.  Yup, I said it, but that being said there are many who are the antithesis of that very statement.  I have known them and do still know those that are as gentle as puppy dogs and would not hurt a fly.  There are non-horse friends who have said that a horse that hurts someone should be put on a registry some place so that what happened to you does not happen to anyone else.  I have tired to help them understand the very nature of the horse industry is such that it does not support that.  This, they find incredible, and then I step back and have to say maybe they are right. 

In an industry so small why is it that we are not better prepared to take care of each other and not allow bad things to happen to each other?  Why don't we have a way to make sure that others don't get hurt by those horses that are truly dangerous and unpredictable?  Is it because we impart upon these animals characteristics that are more human than animal?  Do we put emotion into owning them that unrealistically supports something that should never be allowed in the first place?  Is it the money?  Yes, this is part of it as there is (was) a great deal of money tied up in the horse industry. Of course who wants to put a horse down or out to pasture when they have allocated years of training and resources to them?  All very valid questions I am sure.

As I live each week day by day I think about who I was and who I will never be again and wonder if with some care and compassion towards mankind I would be in a different place and able to live my life free of pain, active, and as I had been before January 29th, 2011?  I will never know the answer to that, but I can only move forward with my journey and help others with theirs.