Friday, April 8, 2011

A Humbling Experience

When you have to ask other people to pick up things you have dropped in a store, when you can't do things that your formally did, when your body does not work like it use to it can be a very humbling experience.  I never thought those things would describe me or my experiences, but they do.  Because they do I have found a very different way of Being. 

In my past life I was very independent and I still have that in my spirit, but now I am truly forced into a very different way of being me.  In recently spending time with a person at work who also had a "Life Altering" accident I have found that what I am feeling is very valid.  Sometimes you wonder.  I have no reference points, my gosh I had never been over night in a hospital before this.

How will this affect me  I wonder?  Will I always feel different or will it slowly go away?  I know now that some things physically will always be there and silly me thought that they would put me back together and I would just get up and walk out of there.  Naive is how I choose to look at it, but those who know me would say naive I am not. Maybe I was just trying to be optimistic or hopeful.

So the new me is slower and more deliberate.  I am definitely more aware and compassionate towards others who may be in the same place that I am.  I guess what that means is my ability to display empathy  has been made more clearly available.  I feel more calm and patient because why sweat it? I have had to wait 12 weeks to no longer be contained in this brace so I can wait for anything, right!  There are other things more important in life than those things I had thought were important before.  My focus has been forever changed.  So what is really important in this life I am living?  Well, I am still working that out, but I can assure you that what was before is not going forward...........

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